Superman Ice Cream

So tonight is my last night at Ball State for this semester at least. So I started packing and taking some things down to my car so it wouldn't be totally annoying tomorrow when my parents get here to pick up my fridge and all that fun stuff. So my friend Ashley helped me pack up some things and then take them down to my car. We then decided that we wanted to go out and eat somewhere off campus because well there wasn't really anything in the dining halls. So we got into my car and started driving around Muncie. We decided on eating at a Chinese Buffet. So we went in and started talking and all this fun stuff. After our meal we decided we wanted to eat ice cream. So we both went over and scooped some ice cream. Well I picked out superman, because well I've always wanted to try it because I never knew what it tasted like. So we scooped it then walked back to our table.

So here is where the point comes. I ate the ice cream and immediately thought hmm this all tastes the same. Which definitely wasn't what I expected at all. I don't really know what it's suppose to taste like, (yes I've already googled it.) But maybe God made me taste it all the same. Who knows? But anyways, my point is that we as the world are so different, we are so unique, we are SO special and yet we all taste the same sometime. We all strive to be the same flavor, well or person. I just don't understand, people are so special and we are all so amazingly different and awesome and beautiful. Why change yourself to look or be someone else. It's not worth it....Kind of like the ice cream I had. 

So Close.

So I'm a failure at blogging. It's been Way too long. So quick update of what has been going on my life. Well I've lost a few friendships in the past months, but God had his hand on my shoulder the whole time just saying let go. God's blessing me in so many ways, and I'm just so excited to see the things that are going to be panning out in the next weeks. I have three finals left and currently have been running on loads of caffeine for the past 48 hours. No sleep. 

Here is the crazy schedule of the next weeks. 

May 8- Go home!

May 15- Work the Journey--(Keep praying :])

May 18--Leave for Philly!

May 22--Get back from Philly!

May 23--My 19th Birthday! :)

May 26--Leave for camp.

It's going to get crazy! :) But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sorry this update is so short and non-descriptive.  I've been so busy you wouldn't even believe. Back to studying! :)

Baby, it's STILL Cold outside!

Wow it's been a ridiculously long time since I have posted, and for this I'm VERY sorry. I have talked to many of since my last post but here is an update of my life! =)

February 6-8

ICBC Retreat

Oh how I LOVE Indian Creek Baptist Camp. God has used this camp to truly bless my life and teach me many a lessons and for this I'm truly thankful.  The retreat was focused on spiritual gifts. My highest was Music and my second was Compassion. If you know me these two things shouldn't come as a surprise to you.  Anyways, I knew some people who were going to be at retreat and I met some really awesome people. AS I'm sure NONE Of you will be surprised when I say I met a boy, NO worries Just friends. =) But really God has blessed me incredibly with Josh's Friendship, it's such an awesome thing to have a male in my life closer to my age with a close relationship with Christ. It's just nice. But I'm really excited about this friendship and excited to see how God uses it!  Anyways, Retreat was awesome. I learned a lot of things. Like how I should change my major back to Socwk. I figured this would happen. I got to lead music at campfire, which was a lot of fun. God picked me up and placed me in his lap that weekend and truly showed me some awesome things.

Oh and I found out that I'll be returning to the amazing ICBC to work on staff this summer! =) Get excited and send your kiddos so I can see them! <--(*Cough* Carol Maze *Cough* Send Isaac *cough*)

Other then being extremely blessed by my heavenly father, I've been really busy with University Program Board and School.  Just trying to keep afloat is a bit hard to handle sometimes, I won't lie it's not fun sometimes. 

I need to ask a favor Blog readers. I have pretty much a list of prayer concerns so be patient with me please! :)

First off, Please Please Please pray for Journey 20! I have a friend who I asked about attending and she's thinking about it so send up an extra prayer for that. I'm just so excited to see God's work in these girls and I'm SO excited to be finding out what I'll be doing!

Continue to Pray for Camp as a ministry and the Camp Staff. I cannot tell you how much we need the prayer sometimes. Brian and Jen are doing an awesome job and I can't wait to see the movement God will make this summer! :)   Also Brian and Jen will making offers to the new camp staff this weekend, so be praying for that too! :)

Soo since I last posted I've kind of been church hopping. I just can't find one where the message truly speaks to me. Yes the music is awesome but I can listen and worship in my room. I've prayed and prayed that God just send this message to me differently, but I just can't seem to be getting really anything out of the message at the church I've been attending. So PLEASE pray that I can find one that really speaks volumes to me!

And last but not least. This is something I don't really like to talk about a lot and which is why a lot of you don't know a lot about it. Could you pray for my Dad? My dad was in the army when he was younger and in result has ended up with a multitude of medical problems. Both Physical and Mental. He's just got a lot of problems. It just scares me. He couldn't even handle going to  my graduation. He also can't remember a lot of things, like today I told him 3 times that I would be home for Spring Break next week and he still continued to ask me when I was on Break. It just scares me. I'm just scared that he's not going to be around much longer. I mean he's not on his death bed or anything like that. It's just that he has a lot of medical problems and I'm just scared. It sounds SO selfish when I say this but I just feel like sometimes I get a little cheated at life. I know I haven't been cheated but It just sucks because my brother Joey didn't get to see me graduate and neither did my Dad. And Joey will never see graduate from College, get married, have a family, get my first big kid job. It's just not fair. I'm just asking that my Dad can see all these things. I just don't see how it's fair at all. Anyways, I'm just asking you to pray for my whole family really. My dad's health really stresses my mom out as well as my brother and I. I'm just worried. And you ALL know how I worry about everything..

Anyways, I'll be home for Spring Break Next week and I want to see as many of you as possible. Love You All! =)

Sorry!

Sorry Bloggers! I have not been faithfully updating my blog like I said I would be better at this semester. =/ So what my life has consisted of lately...Pretty much the same that I had mentioned in the previous blog. School, EIL, and UPB are currently owning my life. Well most of my time anyways. Ah well. 

But I have New, Thrilling, and Exceptionally Exciting News!!! =)

So we all know that I've just be lost and confused as to what my summer will entail. So lately I've just really been praying that God would just use me in the way he wanted. I've finally opened up and just let him do is work and let him tell me what he wants me to do. In result my patience is getting better, WAY better then before. 

Anyways the EXCITING news! =) 

As I previously stated I've just been praying that God would use me in the way that he wants to use me, and that I'm finally completely blindly following him. I was in the UPB Office (an organization that I'm SUPER busy with) and my phone rang and it was a number that I had received a phone call from but I didn't quite recognize it. But I answered it anyways, It was actually Pam Niehaus. She was the Assistant Lay Director at my Journey last May. Out of no where she asked if I would be interested in working Journey 22. I was kind of shocked because it kind of hit me from the side. It wasn't something that I had been really thinking about but was definitely something that I wanted to do. I told her that I would like a little time to pray and really get confirmation that it was what I was suppose to do. So I did the only thing I knew to do, Call and ask my church family to pray for me. After talking to my church family I knew I just needed to get away, pray, and really seek God out in this. So I made the long trek to the stadium to get my car thinking the whole way there. I finally got to my car, went and got food and then parked and just prayed. There I was in the parking lot at Hobby Lobby awaiting my answer. I didn't know whether to expect an answer soon or whether I would have to wait. 

If you know me you know that I'm a nit picker. I will pick things apart. It's something that sometimes is a horrible habit. I over analyze and it can be plain awful. I started looking at the mistakes that I had made over the years and wondered how a God SO Great and Awesome could Love me SO much and give me the opportunity to come back to him after I've fallen so many times. As I sat in my car I got the answer that I needed, but then still contradicted myself in the fact that I didn't think I was good enough to serve. I turned on my car, blindly picked a cd from my case and made my way to drive around Muncie before heading back to my Dorm. And then there it was, the song that completed my decision. 

Jeremy Camp

I'll Take You Back

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few
When I fall and bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that pleads forgiveness
Replacing all these thoughts
Of painful memories
But I know
That your response will always be

(Chorus)
I'll take you back always
And even when your fight is over now
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back always
And even when the pain is coming through
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

You satisfy this cry
Of what I'm looking for
And I take all I can
And lay it down
Before the throne of endless grace, now
That radiates what's true

I'm in the only place
That erases all these faults
That have overtaken me
But I know
That your response will always be

(Repeat Chorus)

I can only speak
With a grateful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift
Of your love

I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

(Chorus Two)
You'll take me back always
And even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now
You'll take me back always
And even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through
You'll take me back always

Even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now

You'll take me back always

Even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through

You'll take me back

Oh how I LOVE this song. Honestly in that moment I knew that it didn't matter the decisions that I had made or the wrong roads that I had previously passed through. He forgave me because I asked him to. He loves me more then anyone ever will. Sometimes this is a really hard point for me to grasp, to think that someone loves me SO much even through the pain and suffering that he knew my life would put him through.  But this weekend has showed me nothing but love and for that I'm truly thankful....

Anyways. I forgot to say the EXCITING part, I called Pam back and got her voicemail. She called me back today and I said yes. =) I'm thrilled. 

Just thought I'd let you guys know. Love you guys

A New Year, A New Semester, A New Outlook.

Sorry that I haven't posted in awhile! I promise that I will blog whenever I can. Which by the looks at my semester schedule doesn't look like a lot.

18 credit hours, 6+ hours in the office for UPB, EIL, Hall Council, EIL advisory Board. Oh it will be a fun jam packed semester, but as most of you know I enjoy keeping myself busy. I'm finding that balance because I can't imagine myself not involved/busy. It's part of my life. 

I'm just wondering how my friends here will react. Because yes some of them know that am involved but they don't quite know how much time all of this will take up. So I'll have to find the balance of hanging out with friends and being responsible and in charge of things. Balancing Homework and Organizations have never been a problem for me. So I'm not really concerned about that. I know that school comes before involvement. 

Another thing I want to accomplish this semester is getting healthier. I've pushed this one out of the picture somewhat because in high school I had sports so I never really had to be all that concerned about this. It's not even so much the whole I wanna be skinny blah blah blah. But So much the fact that I miss being able to run three miles and be totally and perfectly fine afterwards. I also kind of miss being sore after work outs, I know only I would say that. It's also so easy to get into a trend of bad eating habits here. Especially since I'm busy, it's quick and easy things that can travel to places without spilling. lol It's a matter of convenience, and I'm done doing things the easy way. :)

As for this semester academically. I'm excited about my set of new classes but not really excited about English and Journalism. We'll see how this goes. 

As for the Summer. I'm still not really sure where I'm going to be. I haven't heard anything from Quest. And I haven't gotten any confirmation back about ICBC. This is the waiting game that I hate so much. But I guess I'll play it.

Who I am.

I just feel like blogging tonight well I guess it's morning. Anyways, Today was emotionally and physically draining. I'm not really sure of everyone who reads this. So I'm just going to let my fingers go and see what gets written.

So I feel like this blog is really just going to be about who I am today, and how I've gotten here. My day has shown me a lot of things that I have been able to reflect back on to see how my life really has become the way it is now....

I remember in high school being so scared to leave for school. Especially when I had finally decided on going to Ball State. Four hours away from home was not something I was really sure I could have handled. I remember as the months progressed I was so ready to get out of that high school. I was so ready to just be out of this place because I knew I was better then what this place could provide for me. I found out I had gotten the Camp Job in April and I remember being so excited about it. I remember at my graduation party, I was sitting there in the church, the place I felt the most welcomed at just about to burst into tears. I had never felt so lost and confused in my life. I felt so mixed about things. I remember asking myself is this really where I should be at in my life? 

In tears, I left the church that day with a hopeful heart. Excited and nervous to leave the next day. I had no idea the plans that God had for me. So that night I packed up my life and headed to Bedford the next morning with a heart ready for serving. Some of you know what happened the first night at camp and some of you don't. I'm not going into details but it just wasn't a good start to the summer. I tried to not let this set the tone for the summer and while at times it was good, Bad times certainly made up for those good times. But I don't regret it, and I know that I had a reason to be there and my reason was to fulfill God's purpose to provide a great experience for the campers. My summer went by so quickly. Camp Staff was another family for me, and it really changed my life. 

Shortly after moving out of the staff house I was packing my things up to head up to Ball State for school. I was up a couple days early for C.L.A.S.S. For which I'm thoroughly happy that I participated in. I found some of my Best friends in this program. I found a person that I can totally and completely pour my heart out to and he won't think I'm completely crazy. He's been there to pick me up when I need it and to just listen when I need that too. We all need a best friend and I'm glad I found mine. =)

More about Ball State....I love BSU. I was really nervous about it at first but I found a great church, a great group of friends who I adore, and a lot of things that I'm truly passionate about. I remember at one point this semester I was so ready to just give up and quit. I was so ready to just be done, I had lost all hope. That's not me, I'm not a quitter. 

I've learned a lot of things about myself at BSU. I've learned that no matter the age you can lead if you have the confidence. I find myself leading people who are much older then me. I've also learned as long as you have confidence, even when you don't know what you are doing, people will trust that you do. lol. 

Another thing that has been a constant comment to me has been my personality. I'm bubbly, I know this. I get excited easily, I like when people get excited. I'm an extrovert. I know all of these things. You know that corny thing where people try to get you to smile because they are like when you smile it lights up a room. Well someone made a comment to me the other day that caught me off guard. "I like being around you because you are funny, nice, and tell me how it is. But mostly because I know that I can't not smile when I'm with you Because you ALWAYS are. and for that I'm truly thankful." Thankful that I smile? (Thanks best friend =]) Who knew? ha

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm finally figuring out who I am. And let me tell you it's amazing to finally crack open those thoughts. Love you guys :)

Christmas Break!!!!!

I really should be studying for finals...But I don't think I could shove any more information into my brain, so I'm going to blog and hope that some of it comes out! :)

So I guess I can give an update on my life. I'm still loving Ball State. Like many other freshman I didn't work as hard as I should have this semester, and well unfortunately my grades are kind of showing that. But such is life, it'll get fixed.  I am also no longer a social work major. I know shocking right? I still love kids, and yes I would love to work in child services. But my passion and attachment is too high and I wouldn't be able to handle it. I get attached to kids easily. Carol, Becky, and Bev you know this to be true. I love all of your kids and to see something like that happen to a child would crush me. I just don't think I'd be able to handle it. The major I changed to is a totally different area of study. It's a pre-journalism program, drum roll? Public Relations! I'm not really sure if it's completely what I want to stick with right now, but it's something that I want to get involved with and see how it plans out. I think it had the potential to really wow me and I think I have the potential to really excel in this program. We'll just have to see.

Next..I'm still awaiting my call for summer. Many of you know that I applied to work at Quest in Wisconsin and as you all know I had an amazing opportunity to work at ICBC last summer. The decision is still in the air. I haven't heard anything back from Lance about Quest, While I know it is very competitive and have been constantly reminded to not get my hopes too high, I still wonder. I'm really hoping that God will point me in the way I need to be going. Because honestly right now I think I would choose ICBC, partially because it's what I know and I really miss it. I know he'll point me in the right direction, but it's the whole waiting it out thing. How long do I wait to make my decision, and am I even suppose to be in a summer ministry? It all will reveal in time.

hmm. Christmas break is approaching quickly and for this I'm so excited! :) I'll be coming home Friday the 19th and will be coming back up to Muncie on January 6th. Then on January 6th-11th I will be in Gatlinburg with other officers from Student Center Programming for a retreat. :) I don't have a lot of plans over break besides the usual church and hanging with friends. So if you want to hang out or just see me I'd LOVE to do that! :) And of course I'm going to be making a trip to see some favorites in Freelandville! :)

Lastly, I'm just trying to get through finals week. Muncie's weather is so unpredictable sometimes that it makes it a little hard to get to the library when it's snowing/sleeting/raining/wind blowing 3458 mph :) I'm making it through, and I'm SOO excited about coming home to see everyone! :) Love you guys!