Saturday, January 24, 2009

Sorry!

Sorry Bloggers! I have not been faithfully updating my blog like I said I would be better at this semester. =/ So what my life has consisted of lately...Pretty much the same that I had mentioned in the previous blog. School, EIL, and UPB are currently owning my life. Well most of my time anyways. Ah well. 

But I have New, Thrilling, and Exceptionally Exciting News!!! =)
So we all know that I've just be lost and confused as to what my summer will entail. So lately I've just really been praying that God would just use me in the way he wanted. I've finally opened up and just let him do is work and let him tell me what he wants me to do. In result my patience is getting better, WAY better then before. 

Anyways the EXCITING news! =) 

As I previously stated I've just been praying that God would use me in the way that he wants to use me, and that I'm finally completely blindly following him. I was in the UPB Office (an organization that I'm SUPER busy with) and my phone rang and it was a number that I had received a phone call from but I didn't quite recognize it. But I answered it anyways, It was actually Pam Niehaus. She was the Assistant Lay Director at my Journey last May. Out of no where she asked if I would be interested in working Journey 22. I was kind of shocked because it kind of hit me from the side. It wasn't something that I had been really thinking about but was definitely something that I wanted to do. I told her that I would like a little time to pray and really get confirmation that it was what I was suppose to do. So I did the only thing I knew to do, Call and ask my church family to pray for me. After talking to my church family I knew I just needed to get away, pray, and really seek God out in this. So I made the long trek to the stadium to get my car thinking the whole way there. I finally got to my car, went and got food and then parked and just prayed. There I was in the parking lot at Hobby Lobby awaiting my answer. I didn't know whether to expect an answer soon or whether I would have to wait. 

If you know me you know that I'm a nit picker. I will pick things apart. It's something that sometimes is a horrible habit. I over analyze and it can be plain awful. I started looking at the mistakes that I had made over the years and wondered how a God SO Great and Awesome could Love me SO much and give me the opportunity to come back to him after I've fallen so many times. As I sat in my car I got the answer that I needed, but then still contradicted myself in the fact that I didn't think I was good enough to serve. I turned on my car, blindly picked a cd from my case and made my way to drive around Muncie before heading back to my Dorm. And then there it was, the song that completed my decision. 

Jeremy Camp
I'll Take You Back
The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few
When I fall and bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that pleads forgiveness
Replacing all these thoughts
Of painful memories
But I know
That your response will always be

(Chorus)
I'll take you back always
And even when your fight is over now
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back always
And even when the pain is coming through
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

You satisfy this cry
Of what I'm looking for
And I take all I can
And lay it down
Before the throne of endless grace, now
That radiates what's true

I'm in the only place
That erases all these faults
That have overtaken me
But I know
That your response will always be

(Repeat Chorus)

I can only speak
With a grateful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift
Of your love

I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

(Chorus Two)
You'll take me back always
And even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now
You'll take me back always
And even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through
You'll take me back always

Even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now

You'll take me back always

Even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through

You'll take me back


Oh how I LOVE this song. Honestly in that moment I knew that it didn't matter the decisions that I had made or the wrong roads that I had previously passed through. He forgave me because I asked him to. He loves me more then anyone ever will. Sometimes this is a really hard point for me to grasp, to think that someone loves me SO much even through the pain and suffering that he knew my life would put him through.  But this weekend has showed me nothing but love and for that I'm truly thankful....

Anyways. I forgot to say the EXCITING part, I called Pam back and got her voicemail. She called me back today and I said yes. =) I'm thrilled. 

Just thought I'd let you guys know. Love you guys

Sunday, January 18, 2009

A New Year, A New Semester, A New Outlook.

Sorry that I haven't posted in awhile! I promise that I will blog whenever I can. Which by the looks at my semester schedule doesn't look like a lot.

18 credit hours, 6+ hours in the office for UPB, EIL, Hall Council, EIL advisory Board. Oh it will be a fun jam packed semester, but as most of you know I enjoy keeping myself busy. I'm finding that balance because I can't imagine myself not involved/busy. It's part of my life. 

I'm just wondering how my friends here will react. Because yes some of them know that am involved but they don't quite know how much time all of this will take up. So I'll have to find the balance of hanging out with friends and being responsible and in charge of things. Balancing Homework and Organizations have never been a problem for me. So I'm not really concerned about that. I know that school comes before involvement. 

Another thing I want to accomplish this semester is getting healthier. I've pushed this one out of the picture somewhat because in high school I had sports so I never really had to be all that concerned about this. It's not even so much the whole I wanna be skinny blah blah blah. But So much the fact that I miss being able to run three miles and be totally and perfectly fine afterwards. I also kind of miss being sore after work outs, I know only I would say that. It's also so easy to get into a trend of bad eating habits here. Especially since I'm busy, it's quick and easy things that can travel to places without spilling. lol It's a matter of convenience, and I'm done doing things the easy way. :)

As for this semester academically. I'm excited about my set of new classes but not really excited about English and Journalism. We'll see how this goes. 

As for the Summer. I'm still not really sure where I'm going to be. I haven't heard anything from Quest. And I haven't gotten any confirmation back about ICBC. This is the waiting game that I hate so much. But I guess I'll play it.