Who I am.

I just feel like blogging tonight well I guess it's morning. Anyways, Today was emotionally and physically draining. I'm not really sure of everyone who reads this. So I'm just going to let my fingers go and see what gets written.

So I feel like this blog is really just going to be about who I am today, and how I've gotten here. My day has shown me a lot of things that I have been able to reflect back on to see how my life really has become the way it is now....

I remember in high school being so scared to leave for school. Especially when I had finally decided on going to Ball State. Four hours away from home was not something I was really sure I could have handled. I remember as the months progressed I was so ready to get out of that high school. I was so ready to just be out of this place because I knew I was better then what this place could provide for me. I found out I had gotten the Camp Job in April and I remember being so excited about it. I remember at my graduation party, I was sitting there in the church, the place I felt the most welcomed at just about to burst into tears. I had never felt so lost and confused in my life. I felt so mixed about things. I remember asking myself is this really where I should be at in my life? 

In tears, I left the church that day with a hopeful heart. Excited and nervous to leave the next day. I had no idea the plans that God had for me. So that night I packed up my life and headed to Bedford the next morning with a heart ready for serving. Some of you know what happened the first night at camp and some of you don't. I'm not going into details but it just wasn't a good start to the summer. I tried to not let this set the tone for the summer and while at times it was good, Bad times certainly made up for those good times. But I don't regret it, and I know that I had a reason to be there and my reason was to fulfill God's purpose to provide a great experience for the campers. My summer went by so quickly. Camp Staff was another family for me, and it really changed my life. 

Shortly after moving out of the staff house I was packing my things up to head up to Ball State for school. I was up a couple days early for C.L.A.S.S. For which I'm thoroughly happy that I participated in. I found some of my Best friends in this program. I found a person that I can totally and completely pour my heart out to and he won't think I'm completely crazy. He's been there to pick me up when I need it and to just listen when I need that too. We all need a best friend and I'm glad I found mine. =)

More about Ball State....I love BSU. I was really nervous about it at first but I found a great church, a great group of friends who I adore, and a lot of things that I'm truly passionate about. I remember at one point this semester I was so ready to just give up and quit. I was so ready to just be done, I had lost all hope. That's not me, I'm not a quitter. 

I've learned a lot of things about myself at BSU. I've learned that no matter the age you can lead if you have the confidence. I find myself leading people who are much older then me. I've also learned as long as you have confidence, even when you don't know what you are doing, people will trust that you do. lol. 

Another thing that has been a constant comment to me has been my personality. I'm bubbly, I know this. I get excited easily, I like when people get excited. I'm an extrovert. I know all of these things. You know that corny thing where people try to get you to smile because they are like when you smile it lights up a room. Well someone made a comment to me the other day that caught me off guard. "I like being around you because you are funny, nice, and tell me how it is. But mostly because I know that I can't not smile when I'm with you Because you ALWAYS are. and for that I'm truly thankful." Thankful that I smile? (Thanks best friend =]) Who knew? ha

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm finally figuring out who I am. And let me tell you it's amazing to finally crack open those thoughts. Love you guys :)