Disclaimer: So I've been stressed. And today something just pushed me a bit over the edge so In order to calm myself I wrote something down in my notebook. So I thought I would post it.
So as a Christian what am I suppose to do when someone backs me into a corner? When they accuse me of something I clearly I did not do. Or yell at me for something I didn't say. What am I to do in that moment of mass hysteria. Why am I intimidated? Yes, I'm human, I know this. I know God will provide for me, but what am I suppose to do right now? Being Patient is not something that I am good at. I know I need to work on that, because its a definite fault of mine. But right now my load is heavy and my legs are weary. And I'm almost sure to fall fast...and soon.
Conflicts are not my thing. (Although I'm a very outspoken person.) I know where my lines lay. Yes I like to argue something that I truly believe in, but thats different. I would never speak to break down friendships of others.( This I was accused of) If You ask me what I think, I'm more than likely going to tell you. Thats just the type of person I am. Sure I can sugar coat it sometimes. But I guess I'll have to stop that.
I don't really know about a lot of things. But I know this. People push others around for mere pleasure. And honestly it makes me sick. People obviously think its funny when others break down and cry and just plain Crash.
Sometimes I come off as a person who doesn't care. But I don't think I would ever be able to seriously degrade someone the way that I was degraded today. The fact that people can just be so mean hurts. I just don't get it.
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2 comments:
Anna...I'm so sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately people can be mean and hurtful - even Christians. I've been in a similar situation where I got blamed for something that really had nothing to do with me and it hurt. If the whole thing had been handled differently, it might have had a much different outcome, but sadly, it wasn't. The best I can say to you is hang in there. Your true character speaks volumes by not stooping down to that level. Pray for the person you're struggling with. Ask God to let you see them through HIS eyes. Even though they've hurt you, HE still loves them, and you, too. Maybe this had less to do with you and more to do with their overall unhappiness in life. Sadly, that doesn't change after high school. So just pray for this person and forgive them in your heart. It might not change anything immediately, but it might make the next couple of months easier for you. Hang in there, girl, you're almost at the finish line! :) Love ya!
my heart hurts that you got hurt.
I love you, Anna.
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